In a somewhat hip-hop style….some influence from Hamilton and Eminiem
I wish I could see me like you see me I hope that you're stronger than I'll ever be Trauma is a beginning, it sets in, it festers, and it can grow Trauma will define you if you let it, you know I thought I was ready, thought I was ready To be a parent, to settle down To raise a child, thought I was ready To buy a house, to settle down But I wasn't ready, I'm still not ready There is no ready, there's no way to prepare I've survived past trauma and thought that was enough but there's no way to prepare Parenting is relentless There's no breaks, there's only take take take take Tick tock tick its late its time for bed, let's go Daddy needs his alone time I need my time I need my space..... I need to sleep so I can work I need to work so I can sleep I need to eat eat eat then time for more work and now I need to sleep How do I make time for you? You're always here, you always need me Not now, honey, I need to focus We'll play princess tomorrow, I swear I swear, I swear, I swear I'm sorry I wasn't there, wasn't there, wasn't there Look at your hair, its growing so long You're growing up, growing so strong I need to be strong for you, need to be strong like you I'll put on my strong face to face the day I'll put on my strong face so we can play But inside I'm crumbling My thoughts are scattered My focus is shot What did you say honey? I'm sorry, I'm lost Lost in my head, lost in my thoughts Buckling under this pressure this pressure to thrive pressure to survive I have to be there for you I can't take risks We'll play with sticks while I play with stocks We'll play outside with investments on my mind As I watch you laugh I feel alright When you laugh it all feels alright Its easy when you're happy but when you cry it is so hard I put on my strong face, I'm here for you, I promise I'm giving up myself I'm giving up my identity I have to, I have to for you searching for serenity among these broken toys plastic tools underwater scenes bathroom rituals and bedtime routines I'm giving up my identity I have to, for you I'll be there, I swear But inside I'm crumbling This strong face is a facade and sometimes it cracks, sometimes it slips sometimes my rage breaks through I yell, sometimes I yell at you I don't hit, but sometimes I want to My anger grows as my identity fades What's left of me, what can I be? I'm a father now, is there room for anything more? Parenting is relentless There's no breaks, there's only take take take take Tick tock tick its late its time for bed, let's go Daddy needs his alone time I need my time I need my space..... So I can break down tonight And tomorrow I can put on my strong face